A shocking number of regular cyclists have seemingly and unquestioningly subscribed to the belief that if you’re not suffering, then you’re doing it wrong: unnatural positions, rigid shoes, awkward costumes, and data-mongering abound.
Though some folks may find pleasure in these practices, there are some discomforts that are so wholly unpleasant, and so easily avoidable, that they ought to be universally offensive. Chief among these is “swamp ass” or “the failure to put something between your butt and the spray of water that is flung from wet streets by bicycle tires”.
The most obvious solution is to install fenders, but not all bikes are fender compatible. Weirder still, there are some people who find fenders aesthetically offensive (seemingly even more offensive than a soaking wet ass). There have long existed temporary fenders that blocked road spray sufficiently, but their greatest asset, they’re easily removable, was also their greatest drawback, they’re never there when you need them.
Enter Ass Savers: the world’s greatest crappy fenders!
The Ass Saver is exactly what it appears to be, a scrap of plastic that attaches to your saddle rails to keep your butt dry, but the innovative adaptation is that it folds up for easy storage under the saddle, so it’s always there when you need it!
Made in Sweden, cleverly named, and, best of all, cheap ($10)!
Don’t be a dumb ass.