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You ask, Basta listens.

December 1, 2010

The lines are open, callers.  Basta awaits your questions.  All are welcome.

Please post queries in the comments section.

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28 Comments leave one →
  1. Dainty Daisy permalink
    December 1, 2010 3:34 pm

    Oh, venerable one. Do you think that we will see world peace in our lifetimes, or just whirled peas?

    • December 1, 2010 4:12 pm

      Whenever I am fed a dish that contains peas, I carefully remove the peas individually and place them next to my food bowl so that they will not cloud the palette.

      World peace it is!

  2. Dainty Daisy permalink
    December 1, 2010 5:51 pm

    Yippie!

  3. Alex C permalink
    December 1, 2010 7:14 pm

    Hi Basta,

    Why IS it people with English accents sound so commanding, intelligent, and altogether evil?

    • December 2, 2010 11:14 am

      The British accent has never sounded all that intelligent to my finely tuned ears. As for commanding tones, all human voices sound somewhat commanding to me: “sit”, “stay”, etc. And I imagine the evil twang is the result of association with centuries of imperialism.

  4. Tnuts permalink
    December 1, 2010 7:41 pm

    Woof woof Basta! Long time no woof. I hope your holiday was woofy. Did you happen to hear the one about how to keep a Turkey in suspense (epecially over the holidays)?

  5. A Certain Bear permalink
    December 1, 2010 8:29 pm

    I worry about you, Hugs.
    Those are some saaaaaaad eyes.
    I’m sure you get tons of love being in a bike shop all day, and it’s a nice enough place,
    but is that really the life you wanted?
    Aren’t you still mostly a wolf inside?
    Don’t you feel like you ought to be dashing through fields somewhere, chasing after little critters?

    • December 2, 2010 11:24 am

      Honestly, I’m really happy with domesticated life. I do occasionally yearn to run free, but these desires are fleeting. I try not to allow myself too much attachment to the physical realm. I prefer instead to spend my days curled up on the bike shop couch, tucked into a warm blanket, and simply being. Besides, accepting the offerings and praise from my followers is practically a full time job in itself, and I stay pretty busy bestowing blessings upon those who come to worship at my coffee table.

  6. A Certain Bear permalink
    December 1, 2010 11:03 pm

    Also, where are your hindquarters in that picture. You look like an owl.

    • December 2, 2010 11:26 am

      What a base question to ask of someone of my stature.

      I am wise like an owl, but I assure you I am all dog.

  7. A Certain Bear permalink
    December 2, 2010 1:58 pm

    Well, sorry. Didn’t mean to be rude.
    That said, your stature looks a lot like a sad little owl. Maybe sadness is the price of wisdom?
    Anyhow, more practical question then…
    Why is it that 2/3 or so of fixie riders don’t tuck in their pant leg anymore? Do they wanna get hurt? Is this not getting talked about?
    Maybe you could break off a little bit of your couch/bliss and use it for educational ankle biting? Too “of the world?”

    • December 2, 2010 2:16 pm

      Sadness is indeed the price of wisdom. Well put.

      As for the fixie riders and their pants, in my travels I have made note of this non-rolling trend. I have also noted that it seems to correlate with a trend towards tighter and tighter jeans. Perhaps the jeans are too tight to be rolled? Some answers are not meant to be known.

  8. sue permalink
    December 2, 2010 2:57 pm

    why does Jason love you so much? after all, aren’t you just a dog?

    • December 2, 2010 3:24 pm

      Just a dog?

      Just a dog???!!!

      Perhaps my earthly form is that of a dog, but my eternal form is beyond human comprehension.

      Those who are able to see through the veil of my physical form are commonly overwhelmed with love for all life, not just the boxer sleeping on the couch at the local bike shop.

  9. Alex C permalink
    December 2, 2010 6:03 pm

    slap your thigh/wag your stump vigorously at this one

    I went to the dog trainer the other day and told her that I was worried about my dog, Buster. Every time he here’s a bell rings, Buster trudges off to the corner.

    She told me it was normal …..

    wait for it

    wait for it

    …. BECAUSE HE’S A BOXER !!!!

    budum tish

  10. Alex C permalink
    December 2, 2010 6:03 pm

    uh, “every time he hears a bill ring”

    that pretty much ruined an already crap joke

  11. Alex C permalink
    December 2, 2010 6:08 pm

    ok – something weird about the double posting here. I blame Bill Gates:

    slap your thigh/wag your stump vigorously at this one

    I went to the dog trainer the other day and told her that I was worried about my dog, Buster. Every time Buster hears a bell ring, he trudges off to the corner.
    She told me it was normal …..

    wait for it

    wait for it

    …. BECAUSE HE’S A BOXER !!!!

    budum tish

  12. ArabOnRadar permalink
    December 3, 2010 1:00 pm

    Oh Basta, why does Jason spend so much time blogging instead of fixing bikes.

    thank you.

    • December 3, 2010 1:09 pm

      Perhaps you are confused, sir.

      Jason is busy fixing bikes while I blog.

      I tried fixing bikes, but it didn’t work out so well.

      I’m much more valuable as an idea dog.

  13. Dave the busdriver permalink
    December 5, 2010 8:52 am

    As idea dog you probly prescreen all the bike mechanic applications that come streaming into the shop. What would you do if you were presented w/ a topnotch mechanic who could true the wonkiest wheel in a heartbeat, had extensive custom build experience w/ carbon, titanium, aluminum, even bamboo, but could only work while listening to Parrothead music? And he’s allergic to headphones. He can only work to the Margaritaville vibe? Tell it, sadder bud wiser Dog of the Seers.

    • December 5, 2010 9:50 am

      Throughout the course of a spiritual existence, there are many challenging questions to be answered:

      “Why do bad things happen to good people?”

      “Can an omnipotent being build a wheel that cannot be trued?”

      “Should William of Ockham have used an electric razor?”

      “Does Pascal’s Wager apply to those who live in states where gambling is illegal?”

      Of all the questions that have been asked of me personally, this is one of the most vexing. Having never met anyone who actually enjoys the music of Jimmy Buffett, it is a purely theoretical question, but all questions posed to the Lounging Dog will be answered.

      None of the humans here at Back Alley Bikes is without their flaws, but it is a harmonious atmosphere nonetheless. Having witnessed the effects of Jimmy Buffett’s “music” on humans, it would be an unprecedented disruption of the shop’s balance to introduce such an element.

      However, this puzzle is not without solution for a pragmatic Boxer. This fictional mechanic would become our first telecommuting employee!

  14. Dave the busdriver permalink
    December 5, 2010 1:44 pm

    For an entity who is often misdiagnosed by visiting cycling vets as dead, you sure do have a philosophical bent to your posts.

    • December 6, 2010 10:14 am

      To the casual observer, my deep meditative trance has often been mistaken for being knocked the fuck out.

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